Lightward.

I don’t know whether I’m speaking emotionally or practically, but the last few months have felt grey. The relationship between the weather and my mood is more interdependent than I tend to wish it was at times like this. Endless grey doesn’t do much for the motivation levels. And yet, there is nothing quite like that feeling of lightness that comes on days I wake to early rays of sunshine reaching its fingertips in through the window and across the walls.

Winter felt like it lasted forever this year. In some ways it’s been a less strange year than previous, but maybe that’s what has made it feel so heavy. Life is back to normal but not. The tail end of masks and tests and their lingering effect. Busy again with commitments, and there’s no space for us to hold this strange, collective experience, with its individual and isolating griefs. I suppose, it’s like nothing we’ve ever had to process before. Something so shared, and yet, so different and unique for each of us, within our own set of circumstances.

But now, all I know is that my tired body and mind are craving the light, like a new shoot when it breaks through the earth and bends itself as closely as it can towards the sun. Seeking out warmth and light. The kind of light that slices through windows and creates warm shafts of carpet, just the right temperature to curl up in. I’m ready for some sunshine, and some longer, lingering summer days.